It’s crazy how I feel like be dumber every time I learn a new thing.
It’s crazy how learning can make me feel more stupid than I was.
It’s crazy wondering how people can be experts at something, while I am mastering none.
It’s crazy how I still love to learn even though it makes me feel like I don’t know anything.
The first time I dive into the programming world after graduate, ruby says hi to me. Heck! 4 years I am in college, I never heard of that language! But still, the company hire me, put me on training in two weeks, and dive in to project right after. I did a lot of mistakes, do stupid things unintentionally, but I survived.
After few years in ruby, successfully build products from scratch, the company then ask me to join the vert.x Java team. Oh no, the only Java I ever did was classic Java and javascript. But again, why not? they give me time to learn, again! After few weeks of learning java and vert.x, then project time! The first project was a long one, a year or so.
Then other projects come in, about API management. I got a task to learn about Apigee and WSO2 and compare them to each other to find out which one is better, both in financial aspect and maintenance difficulty. I thought that was all. But later, we develop the chosen API Management — WSO2. Oh, another learning! — slightly documented here.
In the middle of familiarizing myself with WSO2, there’s a problem that makes me should learn about ELK stack and how to optimize them. So I did, research about ELK and implemented the knowledge to the problem that was happening at that time.
Then, I see my friends working on go projects. I am genuinely curious, so I start self-learning about golang. You’ll find about that self-learning in my GitHub profile.
After all those technology stacks I learned and implemented, I think I still know nothing. I am no expert. It’s kind of making me crazy right now when I see my friend’s titles — Sr. Ruby Developer, Sr. Java Developer, Sr. Go Developer, Sr. Android developer, and so on.
I love the way I -slightly- know about a lot of things. But I am just wondering should I master one of those? if yes, which one? if no, am I able to survive with mastering none of them? This is the dilemma I felt lately.
Thanks for reading, I just need to let my head empty with writing what’s makes me crazy here.
